Okay, so we’ve been
hearing this line since we were in grammar school: don’t tell the readers, show
them. I’m not sure about you, but I always remembered being confused over this little line. After all, if you are writing, then surely you are telling someone
something.
But this phrase appears over
and over again because it is key to making decent writing great writing. So
today I’ll flesh out what this line means and discuss areas of your manuscript
that you should take a second look at to make sure you are showing rather than
telling.
Show, Don’t Tell
So, what does this phrase
actually mean? Think of it as watching a movie versus getting a recap of it
from a friend. Showing moves the reader closer to the action.
Summarizing
For those of you who read
my post on summarizing, you are one step ahead of the rest. Summaries are the
perfect example of telling the readers information. Showing is a moment by moment narration of the events unfolding. Readers are
thrown into the experience as it is unfolding, not given a recap. Summarizing,
on the other hand, is a concise retelling of events. Like I
mentioned in my earlier post, summaries have their uses. Just make sure they
don’t take over your story.
Not sure what the
difference is? Here’s an example:
Telling (Summary):
That evening I ate in the
mess hall and chatted with Ace and Spider. Afterwards I went back to my room.
Showing:
My cheap plastic tray
slapped against the table as I sat down.
“Hungry much?” Ace eyed
my heaping plate.
“What can I say, it’s
hard work teaching snotty kids how to shoot an arrow.”
“Do you hear that?”
Spider cocked his head. “Sounds like the world’s smallest violin is playing for
you.”
Did you notice the difference? One briefly retells the events while the other puts the reader right there in the action.
Backstory
This is perhaps the most
common and most lethal area where writers tell rather than show. You’ve all
come across these books. The ones where each character is introduced, along
with a mini history. Sometimes these backstories apply to terms, sometimes to
settings, but in every scenario, the writer is telling the reader important
background information on the subject.
Example
He was introduced to
Janna Callahan. Heiress to a hotel empire, Janna had few qualms about money and
many about her men. She was known for her quick temper and her love of the
limelight. In the last week alone she was featured in two separate magazines.
To some of you, this looks okay, to others, this looks silly. Despite your various reactions, writers do this all
the time, and it gets old quickly. The problem with backstory (such as this example) is that it halts
the book’s momentum, and it can lose reader attention.
Instead, a much more
intriguing and skillful way of inserting this information into the story is slowly letting it unfold, either over time, or through observations. For example, if Janna is such a celebrity, maybe paparazzi are trailing
after her—and maybe she’s throwing smiles their way. Perhaps she’s holding
shopping bags or wearing a shirt that says “Thank God I’m Single.” Whatever it
is, showing this information is far better than stating it.
Emotions
Alice felt awful.
Frank looked like he was
in pain.
Elated, Katie jumped up
and down.
These are all examples of
telling the reader an emotion rather than showing it. I’ll be the first to say
that yes, it’s okay to tell an emotion—you are not an amateur for doing this.
However, the true reason
that showing is so much better than telling here is that by showing an emotion,
you come up with more original and more believable reactions. Think about
it—everyone feels awful at one point or another, but not everyone demonstrates
it the same way. The same goes for pain. Maybe Frank, from the example, is
sweating and cringing, or biting his lip. Or maybe his face is red. Besides being original, readers will learn a lot
more about your character personalities if you can manage to show, rather than
tell, these emotions.
Conclusion
None of what I mentioned
is an absolute, and I barely scratched the surface of this discussion. But
hopefully you have a better idea of how to enrich your text by minimizing those
areas that you tell rather than show the reader.
Happy writing,
Laura Carlson, Editor
American Editing Services
415.745.1764
Great post, Laura. The tough part, as it is with so many areas of writing, is striking the right balance between the two, and knowing when you need to show and when it's better to tell. I actually have no problem with the way you introduced Jane Callahan in your example, but it does depend on context, and how often you do that. I have read books that introduce characters every couple of pages with multiple 'telling' paragraphs about them, and it can become tedious.
ReplyDeleteHi Jeff! I actually later realized that my example was almost too concise to really be noticeably bad, so I was nodding the entire time I read your post. :) I think the problem, like you said, hinges on the context and the number of times the author falls back on this type of description, as well as how long the paragraph (or paragraphs) of description are. Thanks for commenting!
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ReplyDeleteI think this is a very helpful post about showing. Especially the part about emotion. I always thought it was good to just say so-and-so was sick so that the reader could imagine their own ideas about the situation, but I didn't realize that it could add character depth to describe it myself and make it character specific! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteHi V,
ReplyDeleteIsn’t it surprising the depth it can add? But don’t worry—sometimes it’s perfectly fine to tell as well! Thanks for the post!